"Sorry" or "excuse me"?

So you're trying to get the waiter's attention. Or you just walked into someone. Or you need to get off the bus and there are six people in your way. What do you say? Is it the same word for all three? Not quite, but the difference is simpler than you'd expect.

When to use "excuse me"

"Excuse me" is used to get someone's attention, to let someone know you need to pass, or to politely interrupt a conversation or meeting. Think of it as a courtesy before you inconvenience someone, even slightly.

• Excuse me, do you know where the nearest exit is?
• Excuse me, could I squeeze past?
• Excuse me for interrupting, but the client is on the line.

It also works as a question when you need someone to repeat themselves.

• Excuse me? I didn't quite catch that.
• Excuse me? I missed the last part.

It's also what you say after sneezing, coughing, or burping in public.

• Excuse me, I think I'm coming down with something.
• Excuse me! (said immediately after sneezing, sometimes with no follow-up at all)

And sometimes “excuse me?” has nothing to do with politeness at all. Said with the right tone, it's a way of expressing disbelief or pushing back on something someone just said.

• Excuse me? I was here first!
• Excuse me? Did you just say that out loud?

When to use "sorry"

"Sorry" is what you say when something has already gone wrong, even if it's something small. Use it when you've bumped into someone, when you're running late, when you've made a mistake, or when you have to deliver bad news:

• Oh, sorry! I didn't see you there.
• Sorry I'm late. The tram was delayed.
• Sorry, I sent you the wrong file. Here's the correct one.
• I'm sorry, but we won't be able to make the deadline.

And if the situation calls for a little more weight, you can also say “I'm very sorry” for more formal situations, or “I'm so sorry” when you want to sound warmer and more personal.

• I'm very sorry for the inconvenience. We'll have this resolved shortly.
• I'm so sorry to hear that. How are you holding up?

A note on regional differences

Keep in mind that this can vary depending on where someone learned their English. British and Australian speakers, for instance, often use "sorry?" as a question when they need something repeated, in the same situation where an American would say "excuse me?"

In Canada, "sorry" gets used constantly, sometimes even when nothing has gone wrong at all. Bumping into a door? Sorry. Someone bumps into you? Sorry again. It's less of an apology and more of a reflex at that point.

Irish English is similar in its own way. "Sorry" is used much more loosely there, sometimes as a soft way to get someone's attention in a situation where you might otherwise say "excuse me." So "sorry, do you know where the nearest exit is?" would sound completely natural in Dublin, even though nothing has gone wrong.

In Nigeria, "sorry" can mean something different altogether. If you tell a Nigerian colleague that you're exhausted or not feeling well, they might respond with "sorry." Not because they did anything wrong, but as a way of acknowledging what you're going through. It's closer to "that's too bad" or "I hope you feel better" than to an apology.

If you have been using these interchangeably, that’s not your fault. In German, Entschuldigung covers apologies, interruptions, and requests to repeat yourself all at once. Honestly, if you say the wrong one, nobody is going to hold it against you. But now you know the difference, so you have no excuse. Or rather, no reason to be sorry.